Mobile Ojisan
The future is now in the land of the rising sun
by Matsushita Shuji, Japan
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USB necktie for harassed IT warriors
Aug 15, 2007 18:28Global warming, er... global heating, rather... has finally arrived with a vengeance. In Europe, Asia and the US, virtually all over the northern hemisphere of 2007, the record of summer's highest temperature has been perforated through from left to right like a cheap Swiss cheese.
We can't do practically anything about this excessive heat as long as Bush administration ensconces itself in White House. So what should we do? Oh, pitifully, let's fight back with digital joke gears.
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| Sanko's USB Necktie Cooler. A kind of silicon gear. |
Again, our favorite jester merchant, Sanko Rare-mono Shop, sells a nice USB gear for this sweltering summer. Sorry, it does not cool down your overheated CPU or red-hot harddisk drive, or nearly molten graphics chip. Instead it provides a cool breeze to your solar plexus.
Sanko's USB Necktie Cooler could have been called a state-of-the-art ultra-tech goodie had we lived in the late 19th century. This necktie simulacrum, made of grayish silicon rubber, has a fan installed in the place where you are supposed to find a knot. Its body is actually a kind of duct that delivers wind from the cooling fan to your shirt front.
The fan is, as usual, powered by USB +5V. Since USB spec lacks the function of wireless power tranmission, the wearer of Necktie Cooler is forever chained to his computer. Very good way to tether otherwise freely roaming workers in office.
But, presently in this world, are there any offices that demand their workers to wear a necktie? I sincerely doubt it. Anyway, price tag: 2,980 yen (US$25.5).
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| This Sanko Ojisan shouts loudly: "Outside air comes in. Hyaaaw, coooool!" Do you believe his sales pitch? |
By the way, Sanko claims: "... Necktie Cooler cools you down in two ways: By breeze from the fan, and by a glacial look of scorn from your colleague and brass, the latter being much more powerful coolant than the former..."
Overall verdict:
Uselessness: + + + + +
Practicality: zero
Joke value: + +
Eco-friendliness: ?
Gift suitability: dubious
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About Matsushita Shuji
When he is not investigating (and buying) the latest gadgets, Matsushita Shuji is a retired professor of African linguistics from the Tokyo University of Foreign Studies. He is also occasionally known as a mobile ojisan, though he will deny this vehemently.
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