An extremely naughty keyboard

Jul 6, 2006 11:15

Akihabara's maid costume craze shows no sign of abating. On the contrary, it has propagated to other local electronic townlets all over Japan. So far, no reports of the sighting from outside of Japan, thank Goddess.

But, no such luck about the cos-play, er, costume play of game and anime/manga characters. Yes, this strange phenomenon (the original Japanese pronounciation, ko-su-pu-re), has infested the world already just like the syphilis quickly did some 500 years ago. Center of the world, Akiba, supports a score of cos-play garment shops. And what costume sells the best presently? Surprise, surprise, French maid costumes, again.

The notorious Angel Kitty of Taipei, Taiwan, specialist in cos-play gears and kinky costumes, released a USB keyboard attached to a very sexy French maid costume. Cos-Play USB Keyboard.

Angel Kitty's Cos-Play USB Keyboard. Offline usage is possible, and positively recommended by the manufacturer.

Of course, everybody would shout: "Why a keyboard with maid's clothes? No reasonable relation between them!" Don't ask me. Yours truly is also totally bewildered with Angel Kitty's superhuman logic and skill of association.

Anyway, let's look into it. A flexible silicon keyboard is sewn over the breast part of the costume. Just beneath the "Q" key and "]" key lie two of the most sensitive parts of female anatomy. This delicate keyboard arrangement has been decided after a prolonged research of erogonomics, so claimed the naughty Angel Kitty management.

Oh, no, this is not a printer's devil. Not ergonomics, the engineering study of human/animal body function, but EROGONOMICS. Japanese morphological analysis says, ero-gonomi-cs, "erotic-loving-cs". The final -cs is a meaningless padding suffix.

Naughty keyboard in action. Touch typing would be rather fun.

Also, according to the Angel Kitty Web page, the keyboard location contributed to reduce the cases of carpal tunnel syndrome. Empirical study has shown that no men acquired carpal tunnel syndrome from excessive touching of the chest of opposite sex. This outrageous finding could be very much disputed.

The costume part will be tailored to order. Information of size and shape are required. Presently, only style offered is "black cat" maid costume, but other kinky costumes can be supplied in the future.

And the best part? If you order a Cos-Play USB Keyboard, Angel Kitty will send it to you in an inconspicuous package with brown paper wrapping. And an innocent-sounding bogus name and address will be printed as a sender. Not the notorious name of Angel Kitty. Therefore, young men who live with their parents do not need to shy away from ordering. Nor husbands with some strange tendency.

It is reassuring to know that, even in this time of Internet shopping, some old tricks of the mail order business of hush-hush goods still survive.

Price tag comes around 15,750 yen (US$137). Oh no, the maid is not included. You have to supply the maid lady who agrees to wear the costume. And one warning: Not recommended for offices or schools.

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